A Conversation on Grief

A Conversation on Grief

Contained on this page, you will find my thoughts on death, loss, grief and the change of love. I have recorded an audio file you can download and listen to if you prefer to hear this conversation and experience it that way. Otherwise, I have also outlined the main themes on this page in writing so that you can fully experience the conversation in both formats. 

Please stay tuned for an upcoming podcast episode on the topic of grief to be released on April 18, 2025. You may download the current audio file using the button below. This may work best on a computer because it is a .MP4 audio file saved to Google Drive for easy accessibility for now. Once the podcast is released, we will update this link to be able to open the podcast on all platforms!

1. What drew you to this work, and how has your experience shaped your understanding of loss?

I’ve spent my life exploring the deep connections between body, mind, and soul—first through my own near-death experience and later through my work with trauma and attachment. Loss isn’t just something we process mentally; it’s something we carry in our bodies, in our breath, in our posture. My journey has been about learning how to help people not just “move on,” but integrate loss into their bodies in a way that allows them to keep living fully.

2. Our culture avoids talking about death and grief. What challenges does this create for people navigating loss today?

We’ve lost the communal rituals that once helped people grieve. In many cultures, grief is held together—it’s witnessed, shared, and honored. But today, grief is often isolated, rushed, or intellectualized. We’re told to “get over it” rather than feel it through the body. Without a space to process grief physically and relationally, it can get trapped in our nervous systems, showing up as anxiety, chronic tension, or a sense of numbness.

3. You say grief is somatic—what does that mean, and how do we recognize it in ourselves?

Grief is more than an emotion—it’s a full-body experience. It can show up as tightness in the chest, a lump in the throat, heaviness in the limbs, or even digestive issues. The body registers loss long before the mind fully understands it. We recognize it by slowing down, listening to our sensations, and noticing where we hold tension or where we feel disconnected.

4. How do our early attachment patterns shape the way we experience loss?

Attachment is how we first learn safety and connection. If we had secure, attuned caregivers, we may grieve with a sense of resilience and support. But if we experienced abandonment, neglect, or inconsistent care, loss can trigger deep somatic fear and dysregulation—our bodies may go into fight, flight, or freeze. Healing grief means relearning safety in connection—whether with another person, through somatic practice, or through the body’s own wisdom.

5. Stanley Keleman said the body speaks its own language. How does grief ‘speak’ through the body?

Keleman taught that our body’s shape, posture, and movement patterns reveal our emotional history. Grief often contracts the body—curving the shoulders inward, tightening the gut, restricting breath. If we ignore it, grief gets locked in these patterns. But when we listen to the body—through breath, movement, and awareness—we give grief a way to move and transform rather than keeping it frozen inside us.

6. How does somatic practice help move grief through the body?

Somatic work creates space for grief to be felt, expressed, and integrated instead of getting stuck. Simple practices—like deep belly breathing, rocking, vocalization, or even walking mindfully—help regulate the nervous system so we can process loss without overwhelm. Touch, movement, and relational presence allow us to release what’s held in the body and reconnect with life.

7. Many people feel stuck between holding on and letting go. How do we navigate that?

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to carry love in a new way. The nervous system still responds to the presence—or absence—of those we’ve lost. Grief is about reorienting, finding ways to stay connected while also allowing space for life to continue. This is where somatic practice helps—by creating a bridge between what was and what is, without forcing one or the other.

8. Frances Weller speaks of grief as a communal experience. How do we reclaim that in a disconnected culture?

Grief was never meant to be carried alone. In many traditions, people grieve in circles, in ritual, in movement together. We need spaces where grief is witnessed—through shared storytelling, collective rituals, or simply having someone sit beside us and listen. Our nervous systems regulate in connection. When we grieve together, we remember we are not alone.

9. What’s the one thing you wish more people understood about grief?

That healing isn’t forgetting. Grief changes us, but it doesn’t have to diminish us. When we allow ourselves to feel, to honor, and to move with grief instead of resisting it, we find that love is still there. Loss doesn’t erase connection—it reshapes it. And when we trust the body, trust presence, we learn how to carry that love forward.

10. If someone listening feels stuck in their grief, where do they start?

Start small. Notice your breath. Notice where your body feels heavy or numb. Find even one safe moment to let grief move—whether it’s a deep sigh, a tear, a stretch, or a moment of stillness. And if you can, find someone to sit with you. Grief shifts when it’s witnessed. You don’t have to do this alone.